What is an Anchor Relationship®, and why does it matter?
The Anchor Relationships framework is a research-backed approach that helps leaders understand and activate the generative mechanisms within relationships that create leadership capacity. The framework, assessment tools, and mapping exercises provide actionable insights for cultivating relational sources of strength, resilience, and courage that cannot emerge in isolation. These tools dispel the ambiguity surrounding effective work relationships and clarify specific behaviors that enable leaders to show up as generative partners to others.
Background and Development
This framework emerged from interviews with high-stakes leaders who served high-stakes roles such as the National Security Council, CIA, Marines, Comptroller of the U.S. Currency, and Director of Health and Human Services in the Obama Administration. Those initial interviews revealed how intentionally these leaders relied on key relationships in their lives as catalysts for: growth, resilience, and ethical alignment.
Research Foundation
The framework integrates existing research from Self-Determination Theory, moral psychology, behavioral ethics, and applied research into a practical model for understanding how specific relationship qualities support leadership effectiveness. See the research page for additional information.
Qualities of Anchor Relationships
Anchor Relationships are intentional connections that help individuals make choices aligned with their core values despite pressures to conform. Unlike casual friendships or professional networks, these relationships serve as both a moral compass and a source of resilience, especially during challenging times.
At their foundation, Anchor Relationships are characterized by three distinctive qualities:
1. Mutual Investment in Growth: Both individuals genuinely desire to see each other reach their full potential, actively nurturing and recognizing the highest capabilities in one another.
2. Enhancement of Self-Efficacy: These relationships strengthen each person's belief in their own capabilities and provide the emotional support needed to navigate difficult situations.
3. Connection to Core Virtues: Anchor Relationships root individuals to enduring principles that transcend immediate organizational pressures, helping them remain honest and aligned with core values even when change creates pressure to compromise.
Corresponding Roles
Each quality corresponds to a functional role – which is how Anchors provide useful and targeted support when it matters most. A detailed protocol for each role illuminates how to show up for other people — and how you want them to show up for you. These protocols are available through consulting and training engagements.
Note: The framework might initially feel overwhelming, raising questions like: How can one relationship satisfy so many dimensions of well-being? However, Self-Determination Theory and Relationships Motivation Theory (a sub-theory within SDT), stipulate that all three psychological needs: autonomy, competence, and relatedness must be satisfied within high-quality relationships.
Here’s how the Anchor Relationships framework satisfies all three needs: Quality 1: Mutual Investment in Growth —> Autonomy (development-focused); Quality 2: Enhancement of Self-Efficacy —> Competence; Quality 3: Connection to Core Virtues -> Autonomy (integrity-focused, within relational context). Relatedness occurs through the process of expressing one’s true self, feeling safe and validated, and then discovering more about each other, leading to realizations like: “I didn’t realize how much I needed this relationship until we really started talking.”
In this way, the three qualities are not just indicators of a good relationship, they're generative mechanisms that create the conditions for relatedness to emerge.
Applications
The framework has been applied in executive leadership development, organizational change management, and peer-learning programs. It is also integrated into the curricula in several universities, teaching students how to discern the quality of their own relationships while equipping them with a valuable leadership tool for their future careers.
How Anchors FOSTER RESILIENCE IN Each Other
In interviews, people described how the Anchors in their lives stabilized them during challenging moments in their careers.
“Early in my career, I was doing something I loved but working with someone who wasn’t honest and was taking a lot of short-cuts. I was worried that if I pushed back, things would fall apart. I found my voice with the support of my Anchor who helped me realize that I don’t have to endure indignity. I can draw hard lines, and I can handle it.”
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“[At one point in my career, I had to leave a workplace that had become toxic.] I was internalizing the stress and developing extreme apathy. My Anchor gave me strength and support to get some daylight between myself and my job. He gave me the freedom to heal, to get perspective from a traumatizing experience. I ended up being a healthier person and was able to grow from this experience. Now I have a very different way of showing up for work.”
“[There was a time when I was leading organizational change and a lot of people were angry about the changes I was enacting.] My Anchor said to me: ‘you cannot take this so personally.’ That was part of the issue. She also helped me capitalize on an opportunity for transformative conversation with the protagonist and talk about the issue that we need to solve together. I might have left the job without a helping hand.”
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“[I dealt with a long and painful work conflict for a number of years.] My Anchor helped me examine the issue and separate out what was me and what was real, or to see the difference between what was subjective and what was objective. Then I could deal with the emotions more consciously.”
Who can be an Anchor?
Anyone in your life can be an Anchor for you — and you can be an Anchor for them, too. That includes your parents, your children, your spouse, your classmate, your neighbor, and your co-worker.
If you’re worried that you might not have an Anchor Relationship in your life, or if you’d like to build more of these connections, join Our Community at the bottom of this page. It’s a place to share experiences and learn to deepen bonds with people who matter most to us.
